"
Since my return from the USA and my mother’s death I have not felt a
strong desire to write.
"At the moment I am passing deeply through my grief. Every morning
I think that the telephone will ring and it will be her regular
morning call. I feel that an important pillar of my humanitarian
structure has collapsed. I know I need some time to restore my
balance to be able to cope with her absence; she was always
my great inspiration and support with her endless
tender loving care.
"It was too hard for me not to be able to say goodbye. It was hard to
know that I was not allowed to reach her because of some tiny lousy
scrap of paper, another fragment in the saga of closed borders,
occupation and the long history of Palestinian suffering -
one generation after another since the foundation of Israel
and the ethnic cleansing of Palestine in 1948, and later
on in 1967 the occupation of what was left of historic Palestine
- Gaza and the West Bank.
"I decided today to resume my walks inside Gaza by the seaside,
my favorite sport. I woke up very early and started my 45 minute
walk at 6 a.m.
"I could hear the sounds of artillery shelling coming from the
east side of Gaza City. The Israeli military operation inside the
Gaza Strip continued, 10 were killed yesterday (Thurs 6 Sep)
17 were injured in AlMagazi refugee camp as well as
Alqarara village, sanctions and borders closure have
continued, along with restrictions of movement.
"Only a few hundred students were allowed to leave Gaza,
the majority were turned back at the Egyptian borders.
I was denied a permit to leave Gaza
for the Women’s World Forum in Seoul (12-15 September)
"Every day patients are prevented from leaving Gaza for
further treatment abroad. Some cross the borders but the
majority do not. Dozens of essential medications are
missing from hospital shelves, poverty is severely
prevalent, 85% of the population depend on international aid
agencies’ food distribution. Essential foods for a balanced
diet, like meat, vegetables, fruit, milk are missing from the
domestic basket - either because people cannot afford to
buy them, or because they are not even in the market.
"Most of the time we do not have regular power supply or
sufficient water. The occupation decides what we should eat
and what we should not, what we should wear and what
we should not, they interfere in the very tiny details of
our daily life, by imposing so many rules and regulation (under
the security pretense), they decide your children’s eye colors
in case you enjoy peace of mind with healthy intimate
personal relationships. The Palestinian situation in Gaza
is economical and political strangulation.
"We have become a small piece of news, not enough to
disturb the world’s sleeping conscience.
"While walking back home I noticed the excessive presence of
Hamas security soldiers. It is Friday, and Fatah called people
for a Jomae prayers protest in the streets of Gaza. Later on
thousands were in the streets, but they were dispersed by
Hamas, some were injured and some of the leaders were
under arrest. There is intense friction between the 2 parties
which adds more and more levels of suffering for ordinary
Palestinian people. We don’t know the way out of this situation
where Hamas controls Gaza and Fatah controls the West Bank.
And now people’s daily talk is of salaries, closure and sanctions,
whereas the main Palestinian issues -- self-determination,
end of the occupation, right of return – are off the agenda.
No-one shows concern or even speaks of them at the moment.
The occupation has achieved its long-term goal, hungry fighting
people can’t think straight.
"This is the strategy of the occupation supported by the
Western powers. As a national liberation movement, we fell
into the trap of authority so foolishly; it is time for both
parties to get on the right track towards our liberation
and independence. While returning home after my 45 minute
walk, I could not help but feel very bad about the heaps of
garbage strewn along my way and the deterioration of
green areas after the continuous razing of land and uprooting
of trees throughout the 7 years of this intifada.
"I remembered my young daughter saying to me as we crossed
the borders to Gaza “it is a sharp demarcation between 2 worlds
- Israel and Gaza – a very sharp demarcation between the world
of the occupied and the occupier.” I nodded my head and made
no comment, but said to myself that one day things will change.
We should all work hard until that dream comes true, when the
land of Palestine is shared between both the Israelis and the
Palestinians in one Democratic state for all its citizens living and
enjoying equal rights and when the Palestinian refugees can
experience their right of return according to UN Resolution 194
and enjoy the justice they have not had for decades.
"For myself, I continue working for the children and women
of Palestine, via different community projects, bearing in mind
how to make the balance between relief and development
projects, remembering the difficulty of development under
occupation and a collapsed economy, but also not forgetting
that patients, women and children are usually the soft targets
in such circumstances - they need all our efforts to keep
them safe and sound whenever possible.